Another thing, what I would like to ask you about, is one storyline from my own story. It is the same story from the previous two journals, just a different generation of characters, so to say, a prequel. This time there are the first names, because they will not say you anything (unless you would take the trouble to look for Halloween pictures in my dA gallery). I would be glad to hear your thoughts and ideas, but before all, your opinion about whether it may be convincing as a storyline. My mother says that it is rather not plausible.
The plot is centered on a young girl named Blanche and the love triangle which I am in the habit to turn into more elaborated constructions… Anyway.
Blanche is an earl's daughter, so her aunt Catherine (who is a viscountess herself) wants her to marry a nobleman as well. To carry out her intention, she arranges an acquaintance of Blanche with a young nobleman named Howard. He belongs to one of the most noble and wealthy families in the country, thus looking like an excellent party for Blanche.
But it all does not matter to Blanche, because she loves another man named Richard. Yes, he is neither wealthy nor that noble, a mere son of baronet, who does not even belongs to peers, that is to the true nobility, and all his wealth is in a small country house and some money, just enough to lead quite a modest life without being forced to earn a living. But he and Blanche know and love each other since childhood, besides Blanche's parents do not mind their plans to marry together.
The person, who does mind that possible union, is Blanche's aunt Catherine, because she despises "those commoners"; and noble birth is the only thing valuable to her. That is why she arranges Blanche's acquaintance with Howard, in hope that he would like her and propose to her, making Blanche to forget about her "improper" feeling toward "a commoner".
The phrase what comes in my mind as I start thinking of it, is "good intentions pave the road to hell". It turned to be so true in this case! At least, if you count Catherine intentions as good – well, they are, to her, because she wanted to do better for her niece, in the way as she saw it. But nevertheless, the proverb is true.
Howard is charmed by Blanche and proposes to her, completely sure that she will agree. Their conversation bears a certain resemblance to the respective moment in Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice, however with quite different ending. So, Howard proposes and Blanche rejects him, at first explaining it with common thoughts about the difference of characters, but upon his persistent inquiring about the cause of her refusal, she has to admit that she loves another man and declares that she is actually betrothed to Richard, mentioning his social position. How great should be Howard's disappointment and indignation at hearing such a news! He, who belongs to such a noble and ancient family, was rejected in order to give preference to some despicable commoner! Stung, jealous and offended, he swears to take vengeance on her. He says something pathetical like "You laughed at me now, but I swear, one day I will make you cry!"
However, this is just his immediate reaction. Some time later, he decides to forget about Blanche and move on. Moreover that he meets another pretty girl named Beatrix. She is a lovely-looking redhead with sky blue eyes, but she is also clever, ambitious and determined to do her best to get a higher social position. And she succeeds, in that sense that he marries her and for some time it seems to be quite a fortunate marriage. Sadly, it does not last long. Having getting to know her better, Howard becomes disappointed in her character, her pride, arrogance and vanity. "Before a year passed since their wedding, he could only wonder at himself being once able to get enchanted by that woman…".
Beatrix cannot help feeling him becoming increasingly estranged from her and decides to revenge, the more that she knows the best way to do it.
The matter was in that soon after the wedding Howard was so careless to tell Beatrix about his old crazy infatuation with Blanche and his vow to revenge her for the affront. He told that just for fun, almost laughing at how silly he was then (as that was at the very beginning of his family life, he was still happy enough to laugh at his past flaws). Beatrix just laughed together with him then, but as his relation to her became colder, she began to suspect that he might still have some feelings for Blanche (that was in fact true, deep in his heart, the remembrances of her have been among the few light thoughts of his life, I believe she was his ideal, the only woman whom he has ever really loved). Moreover that Blanche recently married Richard and these two are very happy together. Jealous and vexed at the happiness of her luckier rival, Beatrix decided to take revenge at Blanche, and at the same time at Howard, because she supposed correctly that any harm done to Blanche would make him sad.
So Beatrix hires a man to become a servant in Richard and Blanche's house. Some time later he took the opportunity to arrange "an accident" at hunting that led to Richard's death. That hits both of her targets: Blanche is struck by grief, and Howard becomes as cheerless as ever. Although the revenge does not bring anything truly good to Beatrix, except for few moments of satisfaction upon seeing Howard's sadness, and malicious joy about that from now on Blanche will hate Howard, believing him to be the culprit of the crime. But there is nothing besides that. Howard manages to learn about Beatrix being the author of the crime, and gets to hate her for the rest of his life. For the next twenty years they continue living under the same roof and even try to keep an illusion of proper family when appearing in the society, but barely speak to each other at home. Just fancy, how sad should be the life of their son growing up in the family without love! There is no wonder in that he turns into so detached and reasoning man, hiding his true feelings and emotions so deeply in order to keep them safe.
There is a little rest to add. To the end of his life, Howard becomes addicted to drinking, smoking and probably even drugs in vain attempt to escape the reality, and eventually dies at age of 49.
Beatrix becomes the mother of the new Duke, but is eager to be styled "the Dowager Duchess" which can be achieved if her son marries. So she starts searching a bride for him, which she finds in a rather unexpected place…
So, what do you think? Is it plausible at any degree?
Your opinions Actually, all of you said that it is quite possible.My answer Of course they can, especially when there is a certain reason behind the choice of metal.
Your opinions Some of you mentioned that it would not look very realistic, the others said that it could be possible in real life and especially in fiction… But there were also examples of personal experience, talking of two days or even the notorious '"at a glance".My answer Yes, it is. In fact "love from the first sight" exists in real life, not to speak of two weeks.
Your opinions The most of you said that is quite possible, even with examples from personal experience.My answer It would be not only believable but absolutely natural .If she got to hate him, she would hate anything connected to him, anything that reminded of him somehow, regardless of her own taste. In this particular case, she got to dislike the whole family of his, including his grandson who apparently could not be guilty in anything in front of her.
Your opinion Well, the most of you said that it is possible, or even that to propose is what he should do, appealing to either hope on good luck, confidence or even resoluteness and desperation.My answer One should take into account all the circumstances and special points of the situation. In this case, Leslie is not simply "sure" that his proposal would be rejected. He knows (or believes that he knows) one serious reason that would have never let her to accept it. And in a position like this, I suppose a reasonable man would hardly want to make himself look like a fool by making a proposal which is, in his opinion, destined to be rejected. He belongs to that kind of people whose greatest fear is to become a loser and/or look ridiculous.
Your opinions The most of you said that she would rather keep trying to catch his attention, however mentioning about the need to make careful examination of the situation and all the characters. Yet there were offers about Lucy giving up or even walking away and sacrificing herself in order to see her beloved happy with another girl (the latter one made me laugh, because it is so contrary to her personality).My answer If she was not sure about Regina's true opinion, she would have chosen to wait for things to become clearer. However it looks clear (to her at that moment) that Regina's words can be trusted. Moreover that there is every reason to think that Regina is going to be interested in Adrian, since he fits so well with Regina's declared notion of a perfect gentleman. At the same time it seems that that he is interested in her rather in Eveline. At least he asks her to a dance a bit more often. Although it may be as just as caused merely by Regina being a much better dancer than Eveline. But family life is undoubtedly much more than dances, as well as the ability to move elegantly through the ballroom can hardly be included in the list of the reasons by which one is usually guided when choosing the life mate...
Your opinions The most of you said that it is quite possible, or at least may be possible in fiction, especially if the girl is in love with someone else as well.My answer It is possible either if the girl is in love with somebody else herself, or if she believes him to be in love with somebody else. Or, like in this case, when she does not count herself to be able to attract his attention, because she believes herself to be not as beautiful and nice as that another girl. Especially when that girl is her dearest friend, whom she wants to be happy. As she thinks that this man is good enough to be a spouse of her friend, she will ignore any signs of attention from his side, believing them to be a mere fruit of her imagination. And even if she realizes one day that she is in love with that man herself, she will rather decide to sacrifice herself, as she believes, in order to let her best friend to be happy with the man worthy of her merits. Plus the behaviour of that man looks rather odd. At some moments he seems to be attentive and tender, and at times he looks quite cold and indifferent. I believe it would have confused her, even if she would purposely looked for signs of soft feelings from his part.
Your opinions The most of you said that it may be possible, although some of you also mentioned a kind of mental illness as one of the reasons for such a behaviour.My answer Women are famous for the ability to hold longtime grudges, especially when it touches to their feelings. And in this case, the woman believes that man to be responsible for the deaths of her husband and son, thus ruining her life. Things like that are hardly to be forgiven. Of course the son of that man did nothing to her, but as the father is deceased, in her opinion, his son should pay for the old crime, through his own feelings being hurt in some way. For example, it would be good if he fall in love with her niece who would have a strong prejudice against the people of his social position and thus would not answer to his feelings. Although schemes like that are most likely too unbelievable to happen in real; that would require too much coincidences to arrange which does not depend of her. So in all probability, her dream about revenge is not destined to be turned into reality…
Your opinions Some of you would rather not believe it. However, the most of you said that it may be possible, especially in fiction. Also in your opinion that man is most likely young, inexperienced, naive, not knowing a lot about life and people; some of you even went as far as calling him superficial, dumb or quick faller (the latter suggestion made me laugh a lot), in one word, due to my harshly formulated question, he was accused in some quite unpleasant things .My answer It is surely possible. Besides in this case, he looks at a lovely portrait of his close friend's sister; he listens to his friend praising her beyond measure; he reads letters of his godmother speaking very good of her; plus he is an idealist brought up with a dream about finding the one and only true love embodied in the most beautiful and decent girl on earth… With all the before-mentioned, he literally has nothing else to do but fall in love with the girl from the portrait, or more precisely, with the ideal image of her, created by his romantic mind.
Your opinions Those of you who dared to suppose, said that most likely it should be too cold.My answer From all that I heard, I suppose that the weather should be quite cold, about several degrees above zero, and probably rainy and windy. So after spending few minutes outside and then about half an hour in quite cool place as well, a girl in a silk dress would most likely catch a cold (which I am completely all right with, because she would surely recover in two months). A man, on the contrary, most likely would not catch a cold even without a coat, in case if he was initially dressed up in more warm clothes according to the weather.
Your opinions The most of you said that it is quite possible for a big workshop with a lot of seamstresses.My answer In a big sewing workshop, it is quite possible.
Your opinions The most of you said that the maid should be pardoned rather than fired.My answer Of course the maid shall be pardoned. And probably even given a raise in pay. That is a rough sketch of how I imagine their talk:
Your opinions Some of you said that it would be not clever of him to trust a person who is almost a stranger, other people mentioned that men in general fail to understand women and thus tend to distrust them. But there were people who believed it to be possible that he would choose to trust her words, pointing out, however, that it would depend on his relationship with his parents.My answer It heavily depends of his relationship with his parents indeed. In this case, he was very close to them, therefore he would not hesitate to trust and respect every person about whom they had a good opinion. So he chose (more precisely, it was natural for him) to trust her words. After all, she was a close friend of his parents and his godmother, although for over ten years since the death of his parents, they had not been keeping close relations. However it would be more natural for him to trust her than the other way around. Still, at some point he started to regret about following her advice.
So as the title says, I need your opinion and probably some advices (if you are willing to give ones) about one own story of mine. It does not matter if you have a writing experience; I need every opinion.
It is a Jane Austin-inspired romance story, so please do not be surprised about the questions .
Besides obvious problems with composing, I have a lot of lesser ones with certain points of the plot and various details. Here are few of them in no particular order:
1. Can wedding rings be made of silver?
2. Is two weeks enough to fall in love with somebody whom you never knew before?
3. A woman fell in love with a man, but he was indifferent toward her and she got to hate him. Would it be believable for her to take a disliking also for a certain colour because it was his favourite one?4. There is a young man named Leslie and a young girl named Regina. He falls in love with her, which she is unaware of, since he did not tell her about it himself, and she tends to disbelieve other people trying to assure her that it is true. The most of their relatives and acquaintances want them to marry together: particularly Leslie's mother because of being aware of his feelings and naturally wishing her son to be happy; and Regina's parents because that would be an extremely beneficial marriage for her. However Regina seems to be interested in another man. Can Leslie be unreasoning enough to make a proposal what seems to be most likely rejected?
5. A young girl named Lucy is Leslie's second cousin, and she is secretly in love with him since childhood (by secretly I mean that nobody at all, including him, knows about that). At last Lucy decides that it is time to try and catch his attention. But she immediately faces difficulties, as long as she learns from local gossips, that he is said to be about to marry a girl named Regina.
Lucy decides to make acquaintance with Regina to find out her opinion on this subject. Lucy gets an impression that Regina is not enthusiastic about the prospect of such a marriage, what is good for Lucy (assuming that it is true of course). But also there is bad news: Lucy finds out that Leslie is really in love with Regina that makes things way more difficult.
Moreover that Lucy cannot be sure if Regina tells the truth about being indifferent toward Leslie. Yes, it looks like Regina is more interested in another young man named Adrian. But they say that he is supposed to marry Regina's cousin Eveline, and shall that happen, Regina may as just as change her mind and become more benevolent to Leslie. And then nothing would stop them from marrying together.
What would Lucy to do in your opinion? Should she keep trying to catch his eye, or should she rather give up and try to find another man instead?
6. Is it possible to believe that a girl is able not to notice that a young man fell in love with her if it is evident to everybody else? Well, my answer is yes, but only if she believes him to be in love with another girl. However I'd like to know your opinion since it is an important emotional point in the story.
7. Can a woman be vindictive enough to seek vengeance upon a young man whose father behaved indecently toward her over twenty-five years ago?
8. Can a young man be reckless enough to fall in love with a girl based on her portrait? I mean one should take into account that the living girl may be not near so lovely as her depiction…
9. Does anyone know what the weather is like in London at the beginning of March? Would it be possible to spend about half an hour outdoors, dressed in relatively light clothes (like silk gown or wool suit), without catching a cold? I ask because if it is too cold, I will have to move one of the key events to the beginning of April.
10. I know nothing about how tailoring shops work. Is it possible to make a dress in a month?
11. A girl is going to marry a man whom the most of her acquaintances did not expect her to be even interested in. However her personal maid always believed that this very man would be a good match for her mistress.
Upon learning the news she says something like this: " ...I said to myself at once, at that very day when I saw you! Shall I never stir, I said, if it will not end like this! […] And yet I knew that I was right! What a handsome gentleman, I thought; one does not meet alike too often to let him go away... ". My question is, should the maid be fired for audacity? Or probably she may be pardoned? After all she was quite a good and capable maid until that.
12. Should a young man trust the words of the woman whom he knows almost nothing about, except that she was a friend of his deceased parents? Moreover when she urges him to rely on her words in the matter of such importance as soft feelings. For example she says: "That girl loves you; believe me. So you can freely go away for two months and leave her with another man courting her. You should not worry; she will not fall for him because she loves you. I say it and you should believe me because I know what I say".
So it would help me a lot if you tell your opinion about at least some of these points.
Also, I had a lot of fun with it because wherever I had to name the characters, I used their middle names, whereas in the story, all of them are known by their first names; in fact some of them actually hate their middle names. But I chose to use the middle names in order to not give too many hints.
Oh, and one more thing. I know it may sound well like "Pride and Prejudice" at first sight. Like there is a girl who has a strong prejudice toward a young man; he falls in love with her which she is unaware of; she meets another man whom she seems to like more; she refuses to marry the first man; but eventually she softens her mind in regard to him; and so on. I know, there is a handful of clichés.
However you can be sure that it will not end like "Pride and Prejudice". Although it will surely end up with the main heroine marrying the man whom she loves.
Frankly, I felt myself not quite easy at DeviantArt at first, since it's a site for true artists. And this is surely not about me.
But I've always enjoyed seeing other people' works. And later, with help of Photoshop, editing them according to my taste. So photomanipulation is "my everything".
I should apologize beforehand for possible breach of copyright, as far as some of stock items what I'm using now, were found when I didn't think about publishing my works yet and didn't care about checking out authors of content.
Thus I give link to those people, whom I can find.
In case if you will see that I used in my works your pieces of arts that you posted at DeviantArt, please let me know and I add you to the list.
And another one thing.
If you see my deviation, give a comment please. It's very important for me to know what you think about it.